CRFS - Final Reflection: Friendships Without Technology

From what I heard from most of the students on our trip, the partner organization that we enjoyed working with the most was Del Mar Academy. While there were a number of reasons for this, for me, it was the connections that we made with the students who go to a school so much like our own. I heard over and over comments from my peers about how friendly and welcoming the students at Del Mar were, and how much we liked them and their school. I think that it is remarkable that we were able to build these connections in only two days.

It is a fundamental part of human nature to find people with whom you share something in common and connect with them very quickly. However, in our normal environment, I feel that many things get in the way of this, and we do not make these connections with each other as quickly or as easily. One of my guesses as to the reason behind this is technology. At home, we have limitless access to our phones, computers, video games, TV, and more. This helps us in the sense that we can keep ourselves constantly occupied and keep in contact with anyone at any time, but I think that it also limits our abilities to make deep and meaningful connections with the people around us. There is a lot of research being published that says similar things. I don’t think that I need to reference any of this research in this reflection though, because in my opinion, our time at Del Mar academy supported this point. We did not have our phones on this trip, and the students at Del Mar were not allowed to have their phones out at school so we were forced to communicate in person. This lead to a more in-depth connection between us because we were not constantly distracted by notifications on our phones and computers while we were trying to make friends. I believe that this is also the reason that we are not allowed to bring phones on any of our school trips; it forces us to actually get to know each other in person instead of through Instagram or Snapchat.

I think that this knowledge that ignoring our phones for a little while leads to deeper connections can be used in our everyday life at home. It is easier to make friends when you have a person’s full attention and they have yours. Thinking back on things that I know I have often done during conversations, it is probably incredibly distracting and discouraging for a person who is trying to talk to or get to know you if you pull out your phone to check your texts or snapchats. It sends the message that you don’t care what they have to say, closely seconded by you don’t care about them, and since friendship is based on caring for one another, this leads to a pretty rocky start.

For all humans, but high schoolers especially, friendships, both new and old, are important. This is why we should focus more on keeping our computers closed and our phones in our pockets when we are talking to each other, both at school, on trips, when visiting other schools, and just in general. I’m not suggesting that we shouldn’t be allowed to have our phones at school, but we should keep in mind that texting while someone is talking to us sends a bad message. For Post Oak specifically, I think that a good place to start with making deeper connections to the people around us is to try not using our phones or computers at all at school during orientation week at the beginning of the year. This might be difficult for some, but that week is really important for welcoming and making friends with new students to our school, which strengthens our community, and just keeps a happy, friendly cycle going.

I think that this part of our trip relates to Activity and Learning Outcome 6: Demonstrate engagement with issues of global significance. I would consider making friends to be an activity, and while technology is good in many ways, it can inhibit this, which is a big issue.